ANACRUSIS - 1990
"Reason" [Active Records]
Track List:
 1. Stop Me
 2. Terrified
 3. Not Forgotten
 4. Wrong
 5. Silent Crime
 6. Misshapen Intent
 7. Afraid To Feel
 8. Child Inside
 9. Vital
10. Quick To Doubt
11. Killing My Mind
12. Injustice


1. Stop Me
++++++++++
I remember the lost confusion of innocence
With feelings worn so clean
I wish I could look on this with different eyes
And ignore the blinders reminding me

Older...
Wiser...
Sadder...
Trust has abandoned me long ago
Stolen by careful dishonesty
I have forgotten how...
I have forgotten how...
I have forgotten how... How to believe
Stop me from loving to destroy
Stop me from destroying all I love
Stop me from loving to destroy
Stop me...

The pain has stripped away all rationale
And left suspicion in its place
I wish I could cling to this with different arms
And never know the feeling of loss or emptiness

Older...
Wiser...
Sadder...
Trust has abandoned me long ago
Stolen by careful dishonesty
I have forgotten how...
I have forgotten how...
I have forgotten how... How to believe
Stop me from loving to destroy
Stop me from destroying all I love
Stop me from loving to destroy
Stop me...

The death of youth breathes life into this fear
Suffocating confidence
I die each day so I can save myself
Close my eyes, ignore the truth, and try hard to pretend

So afraid... so afraid... so afriad... of myself...
Stop me... stop me... stop me... what's wrong with me?
Stop me...
What's wrong with me?


2. Terrified
++++++++++++
Misted eyes perceive
Thoughts I can't believe
Emotions that run free
Never let me be
Self-inflicted pain
It's a loss without a gain
Lost in myself, I know not why
I can't escape, all truth a lie
I try to run, I cannot hide
I'm so afraid, I'm terrified

Mirror's hollow stare
Reflecting my nightmare
All I see pure hate
Soon I'll suffocate
Confusion taking me
Eclipsing all I see
Lost in myself, I know not why
I can't escape, this fear inside
I cannot run, I cannot hide
Lost in myself, I'm terrified

Silent are the waters
Of life flowing free
Born through illusion
From the depths of me
Engulfed in the current
Of many tears
It carries me to serenity
To serenity...


3. Not Forgotten
++++++++++++++++
Your ambition has been disrupted
Young minds so easily corrupted
The system is fighting itself
A fatal blow shall be dealt

Thrown into the tide of uncertainty
Have your dreams smashed completely
The norm dictates your future for you
Hopelessness and despair
Face the grim reality
Individual concerns
Eclipse the world's humanity

Corruption won't dissipate
It's standing in your path
Our leaders chase their tails
Frightened by subversive wrath

Thrown into the tide of uncertainty
Have your dreams smashed completely
The norm dictates your future for you
Hopelessness and despair
Face the grim reality
Individual concerns
Eclipse the world's humanity

Redemption is at hand
Your scheme has taken form
We will take the final step
And instigate reform

Thrown into the tide of uncertainty
Have your dreams smashed completely
The norm dictates your future for you
Hopelessness and despair
Face the grim reality
Individual concerns
Eclipse the world's humanity

Looking the other way
Solves nothing of our problems
Take the step and unite
Tomorrow will not be forgotten
Tomorrow will not be forgotten


4. Wrong
++++++++
Wrong, all that we are
Living, breathing lies
Wrong, all that I feel
All compassion dies

Once hand in hand
And now detached
Befriend the pace
The lonely trance... detached

Wrong, all that I see
Something inside denies
Wrong, all that I feel
Something inside me cries

Once hand in hand
And now detached
Befriend the pace
The lonely trance... detached

What can I say when there are no words?
I can't explain what I cannot understand...

Wrong, all that we do
Dismiss the things we've said
Wrong, all we become
We stumble misguided

Once hand in hand
And now detached
Befriend the pace
The lonely trance... detached

Something in you, something in me
We're trying to control
Something in you, something in me
We're trying to overcome
Something in you, something in me
We're trying to understand
Something in you, something in me
We're trying to break out

What can I say when there are no words?
I can't explain what I can't understand...

Wrong
Wrong
Wrong
Wrong?


5. Silent Crime
+++++++++++++++
It's running rampant in our streets
It's lying dormant in our homes
This silent crime we are guilty of
Is enough to sentence us to life or death

It's running rampant in our streets
It's lying dormant in our homes
This silent crime we are guilty of
Is enough to sentence us to life or death

Deny the future
Reject technology
Protest advancement
And you'll shroud the world
In rags of failed ideals...

The fear of change has bound us all
Silent, we watch our world decay
And we'll return to the Dark Ages...
Again... again...

Deny the future
Reject technology
Protest advancement
And you'll shroud the world
In rags of failed ideals...

Stilt the growth and progress dies
Watch our once-spinning world stand still
And in this, the Age of Stagnation, we'll remain

Deny the future
Reject technology
Protest advancement
And you'll shroud the world
In rags of failed ideals...


6. Misshapen Intent
+++++++++++++++++++
Wandering aimlessly
Stricken with grief
Self-hatred overflowing
It's eating away
It's eating away
Obstructing virtue
Overwhelming and growing
The enduring might of hatred
Obscuring the strength of love

There are some who live deriving pleasure
From others' anguish
And mental distress
Complete selfishness
Provides a purpose
Compelling us to digress
The enduring might of hatred
Obscuring the strength of love

Tainting the innocent
With spiteful contempt
Tainting the innocent
A shallow, misshapen intent

Oblivious to our hardship
Rehearse the solemn ritual

Oblivious to our hardship
Rehearse the solemn ritual

Wandering aimlessly
Stricken with grief
Self-hatred overflowing
It's eating away
It's eating away
Obstructing virtue
Overwhelming and growing
The enduring might of hatred
Obscuring the strength of love

Tainting the innocent
With spiteful contempt
Tainting the innocent
A shallow, misshapen intent


7. Afraid To Feel
+++++++++++++++++
I paint myself on you... the silent wall
My words... my thoughts... my touch... my all
Emotionless... emotionless
So in control of nothingness
This stone-false face you're caged within
Wears thin...

You pour yourself out into me... the lonely thirst
Quenching the emptiness within
But I frighten you... I frighten you...
I take your breath and smother you...
As you fight for your life...
I cling on for mine...
For mine...

So in control... so in control of nothingness

So in control... so in control... afraid to feel
I know you're there somewhere...
Too close to touch
I'm digging too deeply...
You're too clear to see

I frighten you... I frighten you...
I take your breath and smother you...
As you fight for your life...
I cling on for mine...
For mine...


8. Child Inside
+++++++++++++++
You wear
Like an enemy
A false sense of security
With your bullshit integrity
You'd lose it all for your dignity

And you tell yourself "You're so brave"
Yeah, fight for yours until your dead
Well there's plenty of that already filling holes
Before you use your fists, why don't you use your head?
Sometimes we're overcome by this child inside
We grow, and never grow inside

Well I play games I don't see
Accepting false hospitality
With kind words you disguise deceit
Yeah, I help you and you screw me

And somehow you think you fool someone
Surely someday this mask will fall
You find a strength in one on one
But there's something real in all for all

Sometimes we're overcome y the child inside
We grow, and never grow inside

And you tell yourself "You're so brave"
Yeah, fight for yours until your dead
Well there's plenty of that already filling holes
Before you use your fists, why don't you use your head?
Sometimes we're overcome by this child inside
We grow, and never grow inside


9. Vital
++++++++
The gentle embrace of death
Touches my weary soul
I'm closer to the end now
Enough despair! I'm whole!

Destined to make
The right choice
My existence
A constant struggle

Soon I will at last be free
Of my chemical burden
My consciousness is raised
Without society's poison

Destined to make
The right choice
I exist but
I have to feel vital

Helpless, abandoned, relentless attack
Realize my dreams, I can't turn back
Always doubting yet indecisive
Meandering convictions become so pensive

Part of me wants to live
I grope for a reason
Yet I'll be granted solace
Seeming serene... open

Destined to make
The right choice
I exist but
I have to feel vital


10. Quick To Doubt
++++++++++++++++++
Was I wrong? Wrong in assuming
That nothing at all, without thought
Would just fall into place?
Was it hope, that something would change me
That led me to see the mistakes
That had gutted my frame?

Was it strength, yearning for purpose?
Or weakness just desperately searching
For something to fix?
To create, from self-induced ruin
To try and rebuild what remains from
What I have destroyed

Why'd I make it so hard?
So quick to doubt?
So ready to fuck myself over...

Was it truth, logic or reason
Disappointment of fear that led me
To question all things
Far beneath self-induced wreckage
I rest in pathetic assurance
That failure is safe

Why'd I make it so hard?
So quick to doubt?
So ready to fuck myself again...

Was I wrong? Wrong in assuming
That nothing at all, without thought
Would just fall into place?
Was it hope, that something would change me
That led me to see the mistakes
That had gutted my frame?

Why'd I make it so hard?
So quick to doubt?
So ready to fuck myself over
So ready to fuck myself again...


11. Killing My Mind
+++++++++++++++++++
Aware, yet unaware. Falling, falling, why?
Blind! Ignorance the key, stupidity overrides
My thoughts belong to me, although my mind rebels
Reality, shaded meaning, denial is my cell

Killing my mind

Victimize my own belief
Defy myself! Find no relief
Obtrusive walls cannot reveal
Cast out myself and all I feel

My eyes refuse to se all I must endure
Revealing walls of doubt, reality so obscure
Searching, I'm searching, it's one who's deep within
Beside myself I stand and now I must begin

Killing my mind

Victimize my own belief
Defy myself! Find no relief
Obtrusive walls cannot reveal
Cast out myself and all I feel

The self inside is so sincere
Avoid the truth, the honest fear
Intensify all that remains
Bind it now with self restraints

Victimize my own belief
Defy myself! Find no relief
Obtrusive walls cannot reveal
Cast out myself and all I feel


12. Injustice
+++++++++++++
They manipulate and they mold
The rules they should uphold
His ignorance of the law
Is the victim's only flaw

His rights in violation
Through sharp intimidation
He's soon to realize
That their words are full of lies

A scapegoat he now is
Because of the way he lives
He hasn't got a chance
To prove his innocence
People cry for justice
But the law will not take the heed
Innocent victims get the shaft
But what happened to truth?

Injustice for all

Coerced to pleading guilt
Their judgments all are built
On bullshit and hearsay
They'll keep him locked away

He rots inside his cage
His oppression and his rage
Now apathy and disgust
Not a soul he can trust

A scapegoat he now is
Because of the way he lives
He hasn't got a chance
To prove his innocence
People cry for justice
But the law will not take the heed
Innocent victims get the shaft
But what happened to truth?

Injustice for all

Injustice has subdued him
Deceived, repressed, unglued him
No one he can turn to
To wait is all he can do
Persecution obvious
Life becomes oblivious
Fate's found him unwary
He's trapped, he cannot flee

Injustice
Injustice
Injustice
Injustice for all