PAIN OF SALVATION - 1999
"One Hour by the Concrete Lake"
Track List:
1. Spirit of the Land
2. Inside
3. The Big Machine
4. New Year's Eve
5. Handful of Nothing
6. Water
7. Home
8. Black Hills
9. Pilgrim
10. Shore Serenity
11. Inside Out
1. Spirit of the Land
Music: D.Gildenlow
+++++++++++++++++++++
Sit for a while, why rush?
The beauty is all around.
The red sky of the morning,
the different colours of the landscape,
the freshness of the breeze.
So sit for a while and rest
with the spirit of the land.
[-John Renshaw]
[I: Part of the Machine]
2. Inside
Music: D.Gildenlow/D.Magdic/K.Gildenlow/F.Hermansson
+++++++++
'What is a war criminal? Was not war itself a crime against God and
humanity, and, therefore, were not all those who sanctioned, engineered,
and conducted wars, war criminals? War criminals are not confined to the
Axis Powers alone.'
I was told the pain and hunger was not my fault
How could they be so wrong?
And man, of all five billion people you're only one
Believed them for far too long!
Clean hands
My land is my home
I'm inside the big machine and it's eating me!
And I am just a wheel in motion, too blind to see
The way we are heading now
I'm hollow
I swallow, but....
Inside I'm strong
Inside I'm free
Inside I'm young
Inside I'm still me
[Since 1990 there have been 93 wars in 70 states all around the world, with 5.5 million people dead. 75% of these people were civilians, 1 million of them were children...]
(Guns don't kill - I don't kill. Do I?)
Drink with me, laugh with me, friends for tonight
Stay with me, sleep with me, happy tonight
I only feel lonely outside this bar
Look at me when I speak! Who do you think you are?
Just look at me now! Inside I'm lost...
Now I'm vain, numb this pain - why is it burning?
Clean as rain, not a stain - so why am I yearning?
I can't sleep - I twist and turn
In too deep - I sweat, I burn
I'm afraid that I'll awake, dressed up in a big mistake
Then I'd break!
What if I just closed my eyes?
(I'm not clean...)
What if I shut out the lies?
(...blood unseen...)
And what if I could hear my heart...
(...all over my hands!)
...accusing me for taking part
of the Machine
3. The Big Machine
Music: D.Gildenlow/D.Magdic
++++++++++++++++++
'...and he actually held up the weapon before our eyes, and there, dressed
in a suit and tie, he smiled and told us with pride in his voice that "this
model was largely represented in the Gulf war!".
He was so very proper and clean. And so alarmingly blind!'
Welcome inside the machine
It hurts!
Go numb, go blind...
One's drilling out a pipe
One adjusts the aim
One makes trigger parts
Weapons as a game!
All trapped in killing routine
Washed clean...
...by this machine
On these grey walls
Lovely pictures of the weapons we produce
But not their actions...
All are part of the big Machine
We do our job
"Guilty!"
But what if we save?
And what if we solve?
And what if we build?
And what...
...what if we lose control?
What if we lose control?
What if we lose control?
What if we lose control?
(I am just a wheel!)
...and what if we ...stop?
4. New Year's Eve
Music: D.Gildenlow
+++++++++++++++++
'Only the tame birds have a longing. The wild ones fly.'
So once again
Another New Year's Eve will ease our pain
Faith for the few
And rites that will make us so brave
So new
We laugh and we cheer for a Happy New Year
Happy?
Candles burn down
And in the darkness future comes around
We smile - all aware
But never speaking of the masks we wear
Blind!
Turning mirrors upside down
Won't make dust fall off the ground
Hiding wounds won't ease the pain
Sleep won't make you whole again
Change the inside!
...drink the rain...
Dressing our words
Seeing the dirt and flaws inside us hurts
One final glass
A sour taste from our promises
I bid farewell and crawl out of my shell
I'm awake!
I see the mistakes I make
Hiding wounds won't ease the pain
Sleep won't make you whole again
Change the inside...
Today I found a seed of sorrow
The harvest leaves a soil of shame
Now I undress and face tomorrow
And brave I walk to meet the blame
I'll search my home outside these borders
I'll run to meet up with the past
A Resolution for the New Life
This time I know it's gonna last
And I will...
Change the inside
Drink the rain
Open my wounds to heal the pain
Learn the work of The Machine...
[II: Spirit of Man]
5. Handful of Nothing
Music: D.Gildenlow
+++++++++++++++++++++
'In time of war the first casualty is truth.' 'What broke in a man when he
could bring himself to kill another?'
We've seen it before but safe on our suburb screens
Now I am here in the flesh
A witness of war in this godforsaken scene
Far from those grey walls
See children with guns hatred and fear in their eyes
They shoot to release their pain
A conflict to solve no matter if someone dies
Protecting our interests...
Look around, soon there'll be but ruins to be found
Winner will be the last that stands
Lethal moves in a game of chess for the depraved
King or Pawn? Are you worth to save?
(What is the prize for this game we play?)
(And who are the ones that finally pay?)
If we eat more we'll get a handful of nothing
We'll be swallowing dirt
If we push more we'll get a fistful of enough
We'll be swallowing blood
They told me that we could actually save human lives
That armies would preserve the peace
And my work would save, solve and build bonds
Only lies!
And I fed their wallets...
It's strange how we speak of civilised views
While we buy that media warface they sell
A makeup for "Them" so we can decide who's to die
Cause we love it easy:
Here they are - take a good look at the beasts of war!
Let the rain wash that paint away:
Deep inside everyone's a mothers little child
Longing home, lost and led astray
And we prey on this decay!
If we eat more we'll get a handful of nothing
We'll be left with the dirt
If we push more we'll get a fistful of enough
I leave this machine...
I left my life to ease my pain
But I cannot find that cleansing rain...
Look around soon there'll be but ruins to be found
We can change - it's all in our minds...
[-D. Gildenlow]
Step by step hate controls every heart every soul
Every gun pointed at those we paint as Enemies
We provide what they need to let the game proceed
Stuck in machines somewhere we build the cross they bear
Arm to solve, kill to save... God I've felt how it smells!
"My land's my home" - we're blind!
I'm sick of the blood I find!
Step by step greed controls every heart every soul
Arm to kill, kill to live - God how could I believe...
6. Water
Music: D.Gildenlow/D.Magdic
++++++++
Ground water moves very slowly. While water at surface can be measured in
meters per second, the ground water will more likely be measured in meters
per year! Contamination of the ground water causes severe damage for a very
long time.
Despite this, military and nuclear industry constantly pollutes large areas
of ground water - in times of peace.
I've always loved the sound of rain
Touching so softly my windowpane
And then the scent of dew at dawn
Coming to greet me from my moist lawn
...home...
[D. Gildenlow]
I always took it for granted
I never valued the drops I shed
I failed to see the relation
Between my self and world starvation
[D. Gildenlow]
Water's for the chosen
But how come we expect us to be those few...
...me and you?
[In this hot, desolate timeglass I met this man, wearing a worn old flyer's cap. Every day he had to dig 10 feet down for his daily ration of water - one poor gallon. And so he did - singing while doing it!]
10 feet of sand for the thirst
But he gave me half of what he was given for a day
All for thirst and sanity use
While we use up hundred times more:
What do we do with it?
Pipes and bathtubs, sprinklers and fountains!
Freshwater used as a dump for oil and nuclear waste!
"Desert people turns humble" he said
They know what they have
But do they know what they lose when we flush?
[But yet, sadly, he looked up to me. Felt a need for our greed: our "freedom". Said all he really wanted was a car and a radio. He too failed to see the relation ...between our lives...and his starvation]
Water's for the chosen
Water's for the few
Life is for the chosen
But only if we believe it to be true...but we do!
(But I'm through!)
I've always loved the sound of rain...
7. Home
Music: D.Gildenlow
+++++++
'The white man, he comes and goes. He can go. ...But that's our homeland for
thousands of years. That's our home, and we will never leave. No matter how
contaminated it gets. We live there! We have always lived there and we will
always live there.'
This is our home - our roots go deep
Where our ancestors sleep
This is the land we've nursed for countless aeons
But never ours to keep
My tribe is crying - our land is dying
But we can't leave - this is our home
We can't let our past go...
We're left with your legacy
Wide awake, deep at our roots
While you move on exploiting
We'll sing lullabies for half a million years
When my son asks why, what will I reply?
But we can't leave - this is our home
We can't let our past go...
[Hallgren]
[Hermansson]
[D. Gildenlow]
But we can't leave - this is our home!
If you like concrete alone
Then don't make your high lives depend
On that past that you let go...
[III: Karachay]
8. Black Hills
Music: D.Gildenlow
++++++++++++++
'They tell all the people of Europe, it's a good, clean industry, it's a
great way to save the world. But I'm here to tell you that now they're
knocking on our door because they can't find any place to store the damned
stuff for eternity, They come to our homeland and they want to lease some
land for 10,000 years!'
This was our home - we had our truth
Bled for our creed - why must we still bleed?
Your tailings are bound forever in this ground...
So you come for our holy ground
When your nature's gone and your house has burnt down
No!
For hundreds of years you've hurt this land
Eating what's there, leaving a wasteland
But there are no space to hold all your mistakes
Still you come for our holy ground
When your nature's gone and your houses are all burnt down
[instrumental]
[Hallgren]
'To this day, they will not return our sacred land, even though their
highest hypocritical court said that we could and indeed did, own the
Black Hills. I still continue to struggle for the eventuality of regaining that sacred land.'
9. Pilgrim
Music: D.Gildenlow
++++++++++
'In fire, we can see our past and our coming. For, as with us and our time,
these flames are solely born through the complete and utterly consumption
of its surroundings. By which, the fire itself is also condemned to be
destroyed. Demanding, beautiful and very lethal, it lives itself to death...'
The higher I am reaching - the closer to the sun
The more I learn the less I know for sure
For each machine I'm leaving I find a bigger one
For each step I turn wiser than before
But it's burning me...
Pilgrim, where are you going?
Pilgrim, your roads turning bleak
Pilgrim, true to your knowing
But what will you pay for the Grail that you seek?
Though these roads seem endless
And life seems out of reach
The roads I left were better off unwalked
If I had just been stronger
If I had dared to see
Maybe I would not have had to go this far
But still I won't give in...
Pilgrim, where are you going?
Pilgrim, your roads turning bleak
Pilgrim, This quest is your calling
...the curtains are falling...
Pilgrim, where are you going?
And who sets the price on the answers you seek?
10. Shore Serenity
Music: D.Gildenlow
++++++++++++++++++
Karachay: This lake in Kyshtym has swallowed nuclear waste for almost fifty
years now. Radiation was earlier so high that one hour at the shore of this
lake would cause death in just a few weeks. Karachay, the entire lake, is
now covered with concrete...
Don't disturb me now
I can see the why, the when and how
Looking back to see all bridges burn
I have reached the point of no return
this is zero
(Shore Serenity)
This is all that is left of me:
A broken man at a broken sea
To be or not to be a wheel in the big machinery
That is not the matter of the game
Just as long as you can sense the frame of the big picture
(Wheels make The Machine)
This is all that is left of me
a broken man at a concrete sea
But now I know that one cell can kill
and a big Machine stands and falls with... a wheel...
11. Inside Out
Music: D.Gildenlow/D.Magdic/F.Hermansson
++++++++++++++
'30 years ago, society believed that no price was to high, we thought that
industry could come at any cost. We cannot afford to pay that price any
more.'
So finally my journey ends
And through this wound my soul can mend
Guilt is my blood
I'm being drained
This is my home, I will stay...
...inside!
There's always someone inside
Fighting to get outside
The "knowing-right-from-wrong side"
Our home is inside!
I've travelled the world around
In search for some Grail of mine
How could I be so blind?
It was always here:inside
I have only some weeks to give
But at last... I live
[D. Gildenlow]
Life's just a line of situations
A matter of occasions
And mystic correlations
The work of a Machine!
[D.Gildenlow/Hallgren]
[Hallgren]
Here in a world split to nations
We fail to see the relations
Between the Wheel and the Machine
And of the scars we're leaving...
...inside!
I swear there's someone inside
Fighting to get outside
Just give it all an hour
By the Concrete Lake!
[D.Gildenlow/Hallgren]
'I dread the day my children will ask me why. I dread the day when I will
have to explain to them that people thought it was acceptable to destroy
the environment so that we could have jobs. I dread the day I will have to
explain to my bright-eyed Joshua, who talks to dogs and listens to the
grass screaming, that we were all to busy driving fast cars, rushing our
children off to day-care, and finding seniors' homes to our grandparents
and listening to the ringing of cash registers.
We were all too busy to hear the grass screaming.'
Concept idea and all lyrics by D.Gildenlow 97-98
Excerpts, quotes and poems:
Spirit of the Land: At the World Uranium Hearing, David Sweeney presented
this poem with these words: 'I learned that a friend and a comrade has just
died of cancer. ...he was passionate against the nuclear industry and he was
passionate for indigenous rights. His name was John Renshaw and he was
quite an honourable man. He wrote a poem not long before he passed on...'
Inside: a quote by Mohandas K. Gandhi.
The Big Machine and Water contains excerpts from D. Gildenlow's essay
'Waterwar'.
New Year's Eve: a quote by Elmer Diktonius.
Handful of Nothing: first quote by Boake Carter and second by Alan Paton.
All quotes in Home and Black Hills are excerpts from James Garrett's speech
held at the World Uranium Hearing.
Pilgrim: 'In Fire' - poem by D. Gildenlow.
Shore Serenity: World Watch Magazine.
Both quotes in Inside Out are excerpts from Lorraine Rekman's speech held
at the World Uranium Hearing
Sources:
Daniel Gildenlow's studies at the University of Gothenburg (Peacework and
Radiation Physichs)
"Waterwar" (essay by D.Gildenlow)
Several books about water written by the following writers and scientists:
Malin Falkenmark, Tore Wizelius, Reinhold Castensson, Anna Wieslander, E.
Correll/A. Swain, Hjart-Lungfonden and SIDA.
Books about environment and war by Gudrun Utas, J.Eder/A-K.Olsen, Ken Keyes
Jr., Greenpeace, P.Wallensteen, Adler/Lundstrom/Angstrom and report 3698
from Naturvardsverket.
We have used excerpts from speeches by Lorraine Rekman, James Garrett and
David Sweeney (originally held at the World Uranium Hearing Conference in
Salzburg 1992) with kind permission from the Poison Fire, Sacred Earth
organisation which is warmly recommend as a source for further information.
I (Daniel G.) have also found much help and inspiration in Carl Sagan's
'The Dragons of Eden - speculations of the evolution of human intelligence'
and the works of Douglas Adams
Recorded during spring 1998 at Roasting House Studios. Produced by Anders
Theo Theander and Pain of Salvation. Mastered by Rockfile Mastering and
Pain of Salvation. Artwork by Patrik Larsson/Peel Productions.
Line-up:
Fredrik Hermansson-keyboards
Johan Hallgren-quitars
Daniel Gildenlow-vocals/quitars
Kristoffer Gildenlow-bass
Johan Langell-drums
Back
